The Band
Angry Art

Tour Dates




Angry Johnny and The Killbillies

All Songs by Angry Johnny (c) 1996 (Bonesaw Lullaby Music/BMI).
Hankenstein Reviews

What's So Funny?

Ballad of The Crankyville Trolley

  1. Life, Love, Death and the Meter Man
  2. Mr. Undertaker
  3. 202
  4. Jesus, Please Come On Down
  5. Prison Walls
  6. Chainsaw Charlie
  7. Poor Little Raccoon
  8. Brand New Girl
  9. Whiskey
  10. Jawbone
  11. Meet My Maker
  12. Racing The Train
  13. The Creep
  14. Big Bang
  15. Drag Racing The Devil


Life, Love, Death and the Meter Man

He was holding the McCulloch
When he knocked upon her door
Yesterday she said she didn’t love him anymore
But it wasn’t her who answered
It was some guy he didn’t know
So he fired up that chainsaw
and he laid that sucker low
But when he saw the clipboard lying
in the severed hand
He realized that he just limbed from limbed
the meter man
Heard the sirens coming, and he sat
down on the steps
Shut off his McCulloch and he lit a cigarette
The verdict, it was guilty and they said
"you’re gonna fry"
He didn’t see her in the back row,
didn’t hear her cry
All that he could see was the terrified
face of the meter man
The moment that he sent him packing to the
promised land
They led him down the hallway,
and the priest said him a prayer
He wasn’t none too happy,
but he knew that fair was fair
Still he’d like to thank the meter man,
for coming to the door
Otherwise his true love would be
lying scattered on the floor
And as for her, she never loved again,
no not one time
And though she broke his heart
and led him to this ghastly crime
She prayed each day they’d be
together on the other side
And she cried herself to sleep each night until the
day she died

Mr. Undertaker

Hey Mr. Undertaker do me a big favor
Make me look real good because I’m
going for a ride
Hey Mr. Embalmer I did a number with my revolver
Can you put my head together, ‘cause I’m going
for a ride
I’m going for a ride, I’m going to the show
So everyone I know, so everyone will go
"He looks real good man, he never looked better,
it’s just a shame that that fool could not
forget her."
My skull is shattered, but that really doesn’t matter
I know that you can fix it, you can do anything
Fill my veins with Wild Turkey
just in case I get real thirsty
That needle is awful big man, I hope it
doesn’t sting
Hey Mr. Undertaker put pennies on my eyes
Do a good show tonight so everybody cries
Hey Mr. Undertaker do me a big favor
Make me look real good ‘cause I’m gonna
meet my maker
And that picture in my wallet, if she comes to see
Hey Mr. Undertaker make her cry for me
Do me a favor, Mr. Undertaker
Make me look good ‘cause I’m going for a ride.
Hey Mr. Undertaker


I was driving my car down 202
I was trying really hard to forget about you
I had the radio on and the windows down
I was doing 75 I was covering ground
You see, I had a plan, but I lost my nerve
But then I lost control on a nasty curve
For a second it felt just like I could fly
But then a second is all that it takes
All that it takes to die – bye bye.
Well, they scraped me off of that telephone pole
Threw, my carcass in a hearse,
and we started to roll
I couldn’t feel no pain although
I was torn right in two
The only thing I could do was think about you
So tell me darling, what else is new?
Now I can see me lying in my plush new bed
I don’t remember dying but I sure do look dead
They gotta close the lid because I’m mangled
up so bad
I wish everyone around here wasn’t so sad
And I can see you standing with my dad and mom
You’re back together but I’m all gone
Before they give me to them graveyard guys
I want one last look into your eyes,
into those eyes
I was driving my car down 202
I was trying really hard to forget about you
I was driving my car down 202
I should have never left you
I should have never gone

Jesus, Please Come On Down

Jesus, please come on down
Please come and see me when you're in town
I'm waiting, waiting around
Please come on down
Come on down when you're in town
Jesus, please lord stop by
I'm all alone, I don't know why
Maybe you'd like a beer
Why don't you come down here?
Come down here
Come on down
Jesus, I'd like to talk
Why don't you come see me
We can go for a walk
Down the road we'll walk a ways
And you can take me up your highway
Lord come on down
Jesus I'm so confused
Why don't you come and see me
Tell me a little bit of truth
Old Scratch tells me that he knows all the answers
Says he's gonna set me free, lord come on down
Jesus, don't let him win
I love her Lord, tell me why is that a sin?
The clock up on my wall is winding down
Oh help me please Lord come on down
Jesus, don't let him win
I love her Lord, tell me why is that a sin?
The clock up on the wall is winding down
You gotta help me out here, Jesus
You gotta come on down
Please come on down
When you're in town
Lord come on down

Prison Walls

These prison walls keep me from leaving
There's no escape I'm not strong enough
I was condemned the night the
devil came soul stealin'
The day I lost my one true love
These prison walls are built of sorrow
These prison bars are built of pain
My prison cell is always with me
I live in hell, I've gone insane
This prison is my very own invention
Nobody sees the barbed wire but me
I think that they're just no paying attention
I pray she comes back home and sets me free
The prison guards, laugh at my heartache
The say there';s no chance for parole
I tried so hard, but these bars they will not break
She took my heart, Scratch took my soul
What kind of stones are these walls made of
If I am guilty what was my crime
I love her so what was she afraid of
Forever more I'll do my time
These prison walls keep me from leaving
These prison bars harder than steel
She's got her own prison walls and
they're concealing
The love that she will never feel.

Chainsaw Charlie

Charlie got a chainsaw and a pickle jar of
One way or another tonight she will be
going for a ride
The roses and the poems he wrote,
somehow they didn't win Samantha's heart
But tonight she will be Charlie's, if he can only get
that old Poulan to start
Been sittin' in the shed so long, the oil in the case
has turned to sludge
Been yankin' on the cord all night but he can't get
the goddamn thing to budge
Samantha will be walking by just like she
does every night at 8
She's leaving on the 10:05 tomorrow
morning it'll be too late
Maybe it's the spark plug, or the gas he siphoned
from his daddy's truck
But that Poulan won't cooperate, it looks like
Charlie might be out of luck
And here comes his Samantha whistling
and walking down the street
One last pull - the Poulan fires up and true love's
rolling past his feet
Look at Charlie and Samantha
another twisted modern fairly tale
Samantha's in a pickle jar somewhere
and Charlie's growing old in jail
True love will make you crazy and
some of us don't
handle it too good
now that Poulan's old and rusty - it'll never cut
another piece of wood
yeah that Poulan's old and rusty, and it'll never
cut another piece of wood.

Poor Little Raccoon

There was a little raccoon on the side of the road
When I drove to work one day
He was sleepin' there as peaceful as can be
So I blew my horn to wake him up and get
him out of the way
But that little raccoon paid no attention to me
Well the next day on my way to work,
much to my surprise
That little raccoon was sleeping in the same spot
So I blew my horn again but he didn't
pay me no mind
And I thought to myself "boy he sure sleeps a lot"
On the third day I drove by and he was
sleeping there again
But I noticed that that little raccoon had
grown a lot
He was lying in the sun with a funny little grin
He must be eatin' pretty well I thought
On the fourth day I drove by but that little
'coon didn't look right
He was the size of a little piggy, and
his skin looked kind of tight
There was real awful smell, it was
enough to curl your hair
And I wondered how he could keep sleepin' with
that stench permeating the air
On the fifth day I drove by and again
to my surprise
That little raccoon was sleeping there all
covered up with flies
I stopped my car and I yelled out,
"wake up you sleepyhead!"
And then it hit me - he wasn't sleeping at all
That poor little bugger was dead
Poor little raccoon I guess he's had it
Now he's a nursery for 10,000 little maggots
Poor little raccoon pushin' up daisies
And all this time I thought he was just lazy.

Brand New Girl

I'm gonna skin you alive, and make a
suit out of your hide
And then I'll go downtown and
I'll make believe I'm you
I'm gonna put your favorite dress on,
I'm gonna put on your perfume
I'm gonna go out and find out
what it's like to be you.
I'm gonna flirt with all the boys,
I'm gonna be so fucking coy
And they won't know inside it's me - it isn't you
And while I'm being you, you'll get your
taste of being me
All alone and crying, dying with no one
around to see
I won't be there to help you this time, now you'll
learn your lesson
I'll be out with your red dress on , giving it
away for free
I'm gonna be a brand new girl, I'm gonna own this
whole damn world
At every party I will be the queen
I'm gonna find out what's so great about
everything I hate
From now on I'm you and there is no more me
It didn't have to come to this, but I guess
life is full of twists
And love is just one breath away from hate
We could have been the biggest thing since they
crowned the Presley boy the king
But now it's time for me to end this stalemate.


You say you want me to choose
Between life without you
Between life without you, and life
without my whiskey
That isn't much of a choice
No, I don't think that it's fair
When I was alone, my whiskey was always there
When I needed a friend
When I was feeling way down
When no one was there my whiskey
was always around
Do you care about me or are you just being vain?
It's not my whiskey, it's you that
drives me insane
You and me ain't the same as we were before.
I don't know what happened,
maybe we just got bored
Now you're telling me, how it's gonna be
Who made you the boss?
did you win some toss?
I wish you'd understand, I wish that you
would lend a hand
But you're to busy telling me what to do
You told me I had to choose
Between you and my booze
Well, I'm afraid that you lose, I'll take my whiskey.


You win some and you lose some
That's just the way it goes
Someday maybe I'll win one
right now I just don't know
I've got a special talent
You might call it a gift
I'm really good at losing
I'm always getting stiffed
I'm a sucker for punishment
I'm always flying blind
But this foolish heart's been broken
Just one too many times
It's time to change my thinking
'cause I'm getting nowhere fast
When somebody says she loves me
It never really lasts
I've gotta stop believing every pretty little liar
Everybody's got a motive
Every seller's got a buyer
No more trusting anybody
Love is nothing but a scam
Always leading me to slaughter like a
foolish little lamb
Yeah there's one born every minute
Oughta know 'cause here I am
Seems I'm always steppin' in it
But I finally understand
This whole world is full of takers
This whole world is full of thieves
This whole world is full of fakers
with the aces up their sleeves
Now I've got a new agenda
Think it's time to change my luck
If you're not doing the fucking
You're the one that's gettin' fucked
No more cryin' no more grieving
I'll be happy as a clam
I'll be the one who's always leaving
with the money in his hand
You can only break a heart so much it
finally turns to stone
And as far as I can tell I will be better off alone
Now I'm gonna be the biggest bastard
you have ever met
Gonna knock you down so hard
and then you never will forget
You broke this camel's back
Yeah, you created quite a creep
So think about that baby while you cry
yourself to sleep.

Meet My Maker

Gonna meet my maker, gonna shake his hand
Gonna meet my maker, gonna shade his hand
Gonna meet my maker, I'm at the undertaker
Gonna meet my maker, in the promised land
You see I had a fever, then he called my name
Boy I had a fever, the savior called my name
Yeah I had a fever, and then I heard my savior
Gonna meet my maker, in the promised land
The devil tried to get me, tried with all his might
The devil tried to burn me, but that match
wouldn't light
The devil tried to trick me, when I was down he
kicked me
But the lord was with me, and I won that fight
Gonna meet my maker at the pearly gates
Gonna meet my maker at the pearly gates
My war is over, Satan is the loser
Gonna meet my maker, gonna shake his hand
Gonna meet my maker in the promised land
Gonna meet my maker in the promised land.

Racing The Train

(chorus) I'm racing the train to the crossroads
To find out if I'm still alive
I'm racing the train to the crossroads, baby
I'm racing with the devil tonight
And no matter if I live or die when I make
it to the other side
You'll still be gone and I'll be alone
so I'm already dead inside
I can hear that whistle blowing
I guess it's time to turn the key
Ain't nothing left in this old town,
Ain't nothing left for me
About a mile out it's coming like a
demon belching fire
And I got my motor running,
gonna race it to the wire
And the road is dark and lonely
and the moon is shining bright
But without you here to hold me
There's no reason left tonight
I can see the red lights flashing
I can see your pretty face
I got the pedal to the metal
Win or lose, I ran the race
And I gave it everything I had,
I guess that you did to
And I never loved anyone as much as I love you
But somewhere babe I don't know when
We threw it all away
Now that whistle's blowin' loud and clear
It's calling out my name
I loved you then and I love you now
And I wish I could turn this car around
But the devil's holding my foot down
and that Conrail's here and it's
shaking the ground
And the lights are flashing red now
And I can hear everything you said now
But you're in someone else's bed now
So there's nothing left for me
No there's nothing left for me

The Creep

I wish I had been that creep that you
wanted me to be
I wish I would've cheated and lied
If only I had been that creep that you
wanted me to be
You'd still be here by my side
(chorus) But nice guys finish last,
it's a cliché but it's true
The good guys always get the shaft,
they never get the girl like you
I should've tried a little harder,
but I didn't know the game
My mom and daddy raised me right so I guess
they're part to blame
I should've treated you like you treated me when
you tore my heart in tow
You should have stayed a little longer
You could have taught me how to lie
We could have been the perfect couple I am sure
I would've been your favorite creep, I would've
been your perfect guy
I would've been what you hate living life most for
I wish I had been that creep that
wanted me to be
I wish I would've cheated and lied
If only I had been that creep that you
wanted me to be
You'd still be here by my side

Big Bang

When I saw you with him in the bar room
I was wishing that I was blind
And when I saw you leaving with him
That's when I lost my mind
I guess you don't care
How I'm feeling
You don't care anymore
I'm still falling, I'm still reeling
Gonna be a big bang when I finally hit the floor
I've got a job that keeps me out of trouble
Work all week long till 6am
When I get home I pour myself a double
Drink myself to sleep
I get up, I go to work again
'cause you don't care that I'm lonely
I'm no longer on your mind
I'm no longer in the picture
You tuned that page and left this fool behind
So once more I'm sitting in the bar room
Drop a quarter into the pay phone
I hear your voice and once again you're sayin'
Please leave a message at the tone
You're not there to catch me falling
Stay out of my way, I';m coming down
This is the last time that I'll be calling
When you hear that bang, you'll
know I hit the ground.

Drag Racing The Devil

I was sitting at a red light
|I was waiting for a green light
Up pulls this El Dorado with plates
that said "diablo"
With a guy, looked like an undertaker
Smile on his face, leaned out the window
and said:
"Hey Hayseed, you wanna race?"
Will I had nothing better to do since my baby
gave me that big F.U.
So I said "All right buddy, right back in your face.
I'll race you to the end of the world just tell
me - what are the stakes?"
He rolled his back window down, I saw
something big and brown
It was a big ol' Rottweiler stuck his head
out to look around
And I knew who I was racing, the light turned
green I punched that hammer down
I got about a quarter mile I looked to my left
and I saw him smile
He was all ov


Created and badly maintained by AF Grant.
Images Copyright © 1996-2005 Angry Johnny. All rights reserved.
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